Over the Boards

These Are Not Your Daddy’s Canadiens


Most Serious Man in Hackey

What Are you Afraid Of?

Warning, The Truth Be Told, Remember I’m writing this in my underwear, and my third coffee.

There is something seriously wrong about the Montreal Canadiens’ fanbase.  “But they’re fun to watch.”

Do you all understand how pathetic that sounds.  It’s okay to admit it.  We’re going to stink this season, so please, stop saying “we’re fun to watch.”  No we’re not, it’s fun to watch the young guns progress throughout the season, but this team lacking in so many professional positions is not fun to watch.  It’s horrible to lose.  It’s a hockey thing, you shoot enough pucks in your life, and you’ll understand. You work hard all summer.  You are pumped for your chance to show the hockey world and then you realize, “holy frack, the NHL is fast, I have work to do.”  Management knows, they can’t say it, but they know.  This team is lacking in all areas of the game, and come trade deadline day, it’ll be worse than it already is.  It’s not fun at all.  I pucking hate losing.  I’m on the ice playing shinny twice a week and I get bummed right out when we lose in that, and there’s no pucking refs, it’s for fun, but every single one of us played this perfect game at a high level, it’s not in our nature to accept loss.  So I’ll only say this once (bets on that?)  They are not fun to watch.  Good, I needed to rant there.

Every year we see fans chant “the steal of the draft,” only to be wrong year after year.  If you’re raving about 2nd and 3rd round picks, guess what.  Over 99% of them spend their careers as professional journeyman.  There’s no shame in that, it’s why they went in those rounds or later, in the first place.  I get it, you don’t want to lose followers, you don’t want to sound like a whiner.  So don’t.  Write it how it is, and end on all the high notes and if it still comes off as negative, go to video so that your appearance, tone, and enthusiasm is showcased.  The biggest problem with “some” fans is that they’re always angry, and they put their emotions into other twitter posts.  I see it all the time. Jackasses commenting on my twits, making asses out of themselves, then others pile on,  only to see later on that I’m 100% genuine, happy go lucky Shane Oliver, all the time.  Meet me once (Hello HIO) or work with me and you’ll know it to be true.

So tell the hockey truth, I’ll respect you more.  “Oh, you don’t like that.  Go Puck Yourself.”   This just in, Pucking analytics will not make Victor Mete a better hockey player.  Squirrel!

Devils at Canadiens

WoW, what a first period, the Canadiens were all over them from start to finish, and then the Devils woke up, played their game, and it was basically a Devils game from there on out.

Jake Allen was awesome.  Did everything he was built to do.  A fine oiled machine.  Sign him to a four-year extension.  Otherwise, you can bank on searching for a #1 goalie for the next four years.  What’s the plan Jeff, Kent?  If it’s to play out the season, then move him to a contender, move Hoffman now and move the rest at the deadline.  That’ll add some years to the plan, but hey, “they’re fun to watch.”

The Young Guns Arrived in Full Force

Guhle is a freaking Rock Star, a National Captain, a Junior Captain, he’ll be the player the entire team looks up to.   Yes he got undressed a couple times, but his skillset sticks out like no other player out there and he wasn’t picked first overall, you want to talk steals, that’s a win so far in our books, and it’s been a long time since we’ve had a 16th overall do that.    Are you on crack, it hasn’t been a long time, the year before we got Cole Caufield at 15…..now that’s a steal.  What a pucking shot!  He could travel around the country playing in 3 on 3 tournaments and make a fortune, or he could just play for the Montreal Canadiens, and be set for life.  The kid is money, and he got to wear an “A” last night, oh how times have changed.

Beck?  I love the kid.  An artist on the dot.  Smart in all areas of the hoice.  Going to have a lethal shot.  Can’t wait to see him in a couple years.

If Slafkovsky is staying, play him on the third line until he’s able to keep up.  Better yet, Laval for the year and don’t get sucked into bringing him up unless you have to.  This is not the season to be developing him in the NHL.

If he’s staying then I pencil in with a heavy eraser, Slafkovsky-Dach-Gallagher, that’s my 3rd line, but with all these injuries who knows what the blender produces.

I’m already sick of Pre-season.  I bet I watched four games, the last two days.  I’m too old for this shit!

We got Kirby Dach for Alexander Romanov, I can’t say this enough, Wow, what a trade.

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25 Sept, 2020

Predictions are Fun

It’s okay to be wrong people or is it?  I find it very laughable that fans refuse to post predictions to standings because they fear they will be wrong.  I bet 99% of all standing’s predictions are wrong.  Why?  Because hockey never changes, you cannot predict what’s going to happen in hockey.  The ice changes every single stride, every inch of ice changes the game as they play.  It’s never identical unless you’re Guy Boucher and coaching the Lightning.  Thanks for that Guy, sigh, what a waste of space that was.  So predict away, see what comes true.

2022-2023 Adams’ Div Standings

  1. Leafs:  That makes me barf.
  2. Panthers:  That makes me gag.
  3. Lightning:
  4. Senators: They added 60+ goals to their ever improving young guns squad! That’s 280GF, TB Lightning status.
  5. Wings: They made improvements, just not enough for me to see them move up into the playoffs.
  6. Bruins: Key injuries will keep them out of the race, thank god, because they make me sick!
  7. Sabres: Just not enough improvements.  Love Power, he’ll help, and Alex Tuch will be watched closely.  Loved Savoie’s game at the Rookie Tournament.
  8. Montreal Canadiens: Lacking on defense, lacking between the pipes.  No true #1 offensive center, and our #2 is Dvorak.  Dach will pass them all and become the greatest offensive center this club has seen since Damphousenhousen.   Yes yes, I know that’s not how you spell it, thanks for contributing.

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23 Sept, 2020

Fighting Has Changed the Game

Fighting has changed the game, not because there’s no need for it, there is.  As long as the ass-wipes continue to troll the surface, there will always be fighting.  It’s a hockey thing.  You know what I’m talking about.  You’re skating with the puck, your wingers are driving to the net, and somewhere behind the play, Brad Marchand’s trying to punch you in the head or give you a kiss.  There’s no Kissing in Hockey, so you nail that bag of hammers and off you go to the Sin Bin to feel Shame.  But fighting has changed the game, gone are the days of that fourth line going out there to clear the benches.  So those pugilists are no longer needed on a regular basis, but they are needed.  That will never change.

I have a new favourite noun, XHEKAJ!  I hope this kid has a nice long career, being called up and down from Laval to Montreal year after year.  As long as the butt-wipes continue to troll, Arber will have a role to play in any Canadiens success and it’s an important one.  He’s no troll, he’s got skill, he’s got style, he’s Da Man!  XHEKAJ!

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Troll the Flyers!

Remember when? Or course not.  Back when the Montreal Canadiens were kicking the living covid crap out of the Penguins, the Flyers were on a path to the end of days.  I said as much to their fanbase on the Athletic (which I was banned for, thanks), that was over three years ago and now you see why.  Voracek, Giroux, Couturier, all were on the verge of final stages of their careers, and here we are.  Not only will they have Torts yakking at them for 82 or less games, their fan base will be cheering “Fall Hard for Bedard” all season long and I love it!  Puck the Flyers Fans, most horrible fan base in the league.  You Were Told Then, Listen to all who Know.

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The Battle of Quebec

Bring back the Pucking Nordiques………the Yotes are going to play in an arena suited for a Lego Hockey Tournament.  Pack it up, pack it in, Send them to Quebec.  Why, why does the NHL continue to support a losing product.  They’re attendance over the last decade was worse than the Thrashers and look what happened there.  Grow the game?  No No Owners, build rivalries and that will sell merc.  That will do more for the game than a few thousand Yotes fans watching a horrible product.  Picture this, two of the worst teams in the league, Montreal Canadiens and Quebec Nordiques……facing off, you know it’ll be a sell out.  Come on Geoff, get er Done!

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2022-2023 is Gonna Suck

This season is gonna suck!  It’s gonna suck worse than any other season we’ve ever had.  Why?  For as bad is this team is, there’s a small chance that players like Gallagher, Drouin, Monahan, Hoffman, and Anderson all step up, and as great as that is for our paying fan base, falling short of the playoffs is why we are where we are today.  NHL players that get it done are not found drafting outside the top 15 seats.  Sure, there are exceptions, but we’ve all seen what happens when you fall short of making the playoffs or worse, make it and then win a couple rounds year after year.  You draft a whole pile of players who are career minor leaguers but that’s another story, and I’ll write about that the second someone mentions it on “The Twitter.”

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